You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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