come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize