My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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