Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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