I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
