my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
