you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
