Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
