careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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