I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i think im in europe. pls send help
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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