margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
