Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
