i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
