If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
two words: eviction party
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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