Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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