i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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