if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
