3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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