Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
