Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
