why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
