OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
