we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
