I think I died a long time ago.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
This is my gift to your gina
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
