There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize