Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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