i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
