She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
