So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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