He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
