He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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