If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Shame is for Republicans.
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