Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize