i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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