I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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