lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
