your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
