I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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