You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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