I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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