she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
