A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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