I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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