i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i out mim tonsoeep
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