i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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