I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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