I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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