At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
