I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
