We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so let's talk penis.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
