This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
