I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
birth control should be required to get into college
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize