Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
