I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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