im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
