In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize