you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
