There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
