I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
