**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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