What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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