She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize