No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
