ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize