Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
