Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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