oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
