it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
